The small snoozy Essex town of Wivenhoe came to a standstill yesterday afternoon as local anarchists came together with the police force for a couple of hours of Twister fun in the sun.
The event, which will now take place every year, was planned and organised by Wivenhoe’s Anarchist Society to raise money for the local Conservative Party and to increase awareness of its often side-lined beliefs.
Society secretary Stumpy Cadwell-Smythe explained to The Daily Telegraph: “For some time now the anarchists and the law enforcement in this town have been at loggerheads. It’s not easy to get along when we both come at everything from opposite ends of the political bassoon, but if there’s one thing we can both agree on it’s the importance of authority and the sanctity of upholding the law. And we figured that getting together for a game of Twister every once in a while might break up the tedium of all that smashing and monotonous chanting of things like “Shame on you”. We popped open a couple of crates of ginger ale and just let our hair down together as brothers and sisters.”
The move has been similarly applauded by Wivenhoe’s law enforcement agency, with Wivenhoe’s chief of Police, David Starsky, telling Socialist Worker: “It’s like Kant said, innit? What we want as police officers is law and freedom without force, plus the odd bit of overtime where we get to rough up some scruffies with our hitting sticks. But there comes a time when you want to take the helmet off, loosen the safety on the mace and try and put your foot on a green circle and your hand on a red one, while getting your other leg over a smelly longhair to place your tootsies on a yellow blob.”
The Twister face-off lasted for four grueling hours and was eventually ruled as a draw before both parties made their way to the pub for further liquid enhancement. They then made their way to the churchyard, where they sat around a campfire singing “Kum by are” and Take that hits.
Wivenhoe Ancarchist Society meets every Wednesday afternoon for tea and cakes and welcomes anyone keen to try something different.