Stars of stage and screen will be gathering on the reddish carpet on Saturday night for the hottest ticket in town: opening night of Steven Sondheim’s 'Clarkson the musical'. Everyone from Steve Guttenberg to John Craven, Jordan to Abdullah II king of Jordan and Michael Jordan will dusting down their bestest frocks and blandest suits to catch the UK’s most anticipated musical since 'Hypocrite the story of Farage' played behind the bins in a pub car park in Clacton.
It tells the tale of how a simple farmhand put on faded denim and a brown leather jacket and became the world’s leading broom-broom bastard and taking over the world. Featuring smash hits 'Laugh at the foreigns', 'Gay Huzzah', 'The new Rover Fastback has impressive torque and a lush walnut finish' and 'Smack my bitch up', the production marks a busy summer for Wivenhoe’s leading thespians.
Show director Stephané Spielburger told The Watcher: “We’re up for another three Tony’s with this show and so we’re all pretty pumped up. But you know, it’s a long season and we just need to take it one production at a time. We’ve got some big clashes coming up in the next few months what with Shakespeare, Pinter and Peter Purve’s 'Cats do the funniest things' all in the pipeline, so I’m just trying to keep the guys fully focused.”
Those hoping to get along to see the show will be disappointed to know that it is fully booked until November and actually comes to the end of its run in early August, so they’ve got no chance. However, star spotters are advised to bring their cameras as a whole bunch of TV stars you’ve never heard of will be there gurning for anyone with a camera. Johnny Pencils, Liza Smear, Ian Calculator and Angela Rippon are all confirmed to attend, so get there early. Either that or stay at home and watch Eldorado.