Over the years, Wivenhoe has had more than its fair share of superstar pop singers with everyone from the Glen Miller Band to Sir Clifford of Richards living on its hallowed ground. And now the purple powerhouse himself has packed up his troubles in his old kit bag, got on his Harley and headed out East. The self-proclaimed tiny man of pop has upped sticks from his purple Peckham penthouse to move out into the wilds of Wivenhoe and this exclusive photograph captured yesterday lunchtime shows him outside his new mauve mansion.
Though as yet, no one has managed to speak to the moustachioed ant man, it is believed that Prince (real name Prince Edward) has settled in the small Eastern continent of Wivenhoe to work on his new album –I’m only a wittle fella, but I’m gonna love you harder, faster and longer.
On his morning paper round, paperboy extraordinaire Quincy Jones told The Watcher: “The thing about Wivinghole is that it’s got this unique micro climate that’s just right for cutting together some jumpin’ funk. You don’t get these vibes nowhere else in the world sista, can’t you feel it? Do you wanna feel it? Maybe you might start feelin’ it if I rubbed it up against your knee…” before jumping back on his chopper and riding away.
The house, number 1999 Alphabet Street, is believed to be the perfect fit for the teeny tiny popster, thanks to its purple paintwork, parking space for his little red corvette and downstairs loo – his knees ain’t what they used to be, don’t you know. And a number of local hotties have been seen sashaying in and out of its doors at all hours, including Su Pollard, Emily Maitlis and Maggie Philbin.
However, neighbours have been less keen on the new arrival. Susan Dentalfloss told the Watcher: “I’m sick to death of it. The sky’s gone this ridiculous mauve colour, it constantly looks like it’s going to rain and I’m kept up at all hours by the noise of doves crying. As far as I’m concerned he can piss of back to Lewisham or wherever it is he comes from”.