Eurovision superstars Abba have made their first public appearance in 17 years to announce that they will be taking over Wivenhoe’s empty Tapas Bar and converting it into the town’s first Vape Superstore.
The group, consisting of members Benny, Bjorn, Bjork and Sandra, unveiled their audacious plans to the press today announcing: “We’ve seen the success that stores like The Vapes of Wrath in Coggeshall and St Osyth’s Vapor Chase have had and we want a piece of the wet lung action. If there’s one thing the people of Wivenhoe enjoy more than drinking and getting their hair cut, it’s smoking – and there’s more than enough pubs and hairdressers here, so a vape store seemed the obvious way to go.”
The new smokery will be called Planet of the Vapes and is planned to unveil a series of innovative vape flavours including Peanut M&Ms, Wet Dog, Morning Breath and The Faint Whiff Of Disappointment. Planet of the Vapes is due to open next week and will be offering a promotional 10% discount to school children and dogs during its first week.