Time for some foreign news as reports are coming in from the North-Western European country of Blackpool that an alien attack was this morning brought to a swift end, thanks to the intervention of the world-famous Blackpool Tower.
For years now, the small third-world country of Blackpool has been a popular holiday destination for those that are fond of seeing how things used to be back in the seventies, and it would appear that our extra-terrestrial cousins are no different.
It’s understood that a fleet of UFOs attempted to invade the earth, trying to use Blackpool’s ‘pleasure’ beach as an affordable place to park up and launch their attack. Thankfully, quick-witted officers riding on donkeys and wearing kiss me quick hats from Blackpool’s Border Protection Agency were on hand to shoot the potential illegal immigrants from out of the sky before they even had a chance to enslave the human race and do all that anal probing that they seem to be so fond of.
Quite why aliens (or anyone for that matter) would want to invade such a downtrodden backwater remains a mystery, but it is understood that they might have been attracted by the famous illuminations, either that or the opportunity of catching one of the final summer season performances of Ken Dodd’s ‘hilarious’ one-man show.
There’s just no accounting for taste.