With its rolling countryside and plentiful woods, Wivenhoe provides the perfect environment for birds to flourish. But a recent survey has revealed that counter to popular thinking the birds here are not quite as angry as we first thought.
Packham told The Watcher: “It’s fashionable these days to wegard our feathered fwiends as angry beings hell-bent on the destruction of green pigs in the name of mildly diverting entertainment, but this couldn’t be further from the twuth. They are sensitive beings that like cartoons, anything blue and Stevie Wonder’s early work – although obviously they draw the line at I Just Called to Say I Love You.”
Bill Oddity expands on the findings further pointing out: “It’s certainly beyond debate that they are seriously disappointed about the current state of music in this country and that they will happily poop on anyone involved in rubbish like Big Brother, but their small brains mean that they don’t actually have the capacity for complex emotions like anger. Our studies have revealed that they are permanently in one of two states of mind: either mildly irritated or in uncontrollable fits of laughter.”
The survey is expected to continue over the coming weeks, with Packham and Oddie exploring our avian cousin’s reactions to Lionel Richie, Bruce Forsyth and beef flavoured Hula Hoops. You too can take part by leaving CDs, crisps and videos of BBC Strictly Come Dancing on a bird table in your garden and noting down their reactions to your offerings and sending them in an SAE to your local MP.