Following lengthy negotiations, Wivenhoe Mayor Dame Dannii Minogue yesterday revealed that she has given permission for a new international space station to be built on the wasteland behind Wivenhoe cricket club.
Details about the development are thin on the ground, but leaked documents seen by The Watcher seem to suggest that the work will be carried out by a shady-sounding operation that’s called The Evil Empire.
CEO Lord Vadar told the Brightlingsea and Wivenhoe Gazette: “We have now been given the go ahead to complete our space station, which we will be calling the Death Star. It will be the central hub for all of our evil operations and will have the capability to blow up an entire planet as well as having its own Costa Coffee, which will be nice. There is no reason to be concerned, carry on with your day.”
A small group of protestors, led by Ham Solo, is planning to protest about the new development as it is being built on an area of natural beauty and ecological significance. Commander Solo told The Watcher: “Lord Vadar’s intentions are far from noble. While it’ll be really nice to get fresh coffee and those nice little pastry things, he is hell bent on ruling the galaxy with an iron fist. Oh, and there’s quite a sizable stag beetle community on that land. It’d be a shame to see them go.”
Solo is enlisting freedom fighters to help stop Lord Vadar’s plans in its tracks and will be holding a mother’s coffee morning next Thursday at The William Loveless hall as well as a jumble sale the following Saturday.