Queen’s legendary axeman and ex-landlady of the Queen Vic pub, Brian May, has today unveiled plans to hold a special New Year’s Eve concert for Wivenhoe’s beleaguered badger community. Poodle-permed, badger-botherer Brian – aged 29 – told The Watcher: “For too long now, the badger community has been ignored, down-trodden and treated like second class citizens, well not on my watch matey. This New Year’s Eve I’ll be playing a special one-off concert just for my black and white furry friends and then after that we’ll all head back to the Vic for a jar or two”.
Celebrity badger, Badger – from nineties TV show Bodger And Badger told The Watcher: “I don’t know why Brian feels he has to keep on representing us. We much prefer ACDC and in all honesty find his brand of rock pithy and uninspiring. He’s better off playing that shit to the squirrels.”