In a dramatic about turn, Merica’s finest ever President – Lord Donald Trump – has revealed that he is finally ready to reconsider his compatriots’ right to bear arms.
Famously, listed in the Constitution, right underneath the right to chew gum, the right to spell words incorrectly and the right to Big Macs, the right to bear arms is seen by many as a cornerstone of the US of Yay.
The tradition is understood to date back to the country’s early days when its founding fathers fought off evil Red Indian invaders by ripping the arms off of bears and wearing them as a primitive form of boxing glove. However, in these more enlightened times, the tradition is widely regarded as out dated and just a bit stupid.
The plan is expected to be implemented before the end of October and to celebrate, every American citizen will be given a voucher that entitles them to a free semi-automatic weapon – just in case those pesky Red Indians try to invade again.