Soccerball superstar David Beckham was today spotted enjoying an impromptu game of keepy up over by the garages. Though the ex-Manchester United superstar is hoping to get trials for Wivenhoe Town F.C., his blatant disregard for local by-laws may affect his chance.
Becks told The Watcher: "This would be a dream move for me. I know Victoria's well keen on coming here for the shopping and the boy's would love the Co-op."
Perhaps what's most disturbing of all is that local bobby, Detective David Starsky (formerly of Starsky and Hutch) seems to have no interest in doing his job and upholding the law.
Whatever has the world come to?