Teeny tit Justin Bieber was spotted yesterday getting his brand new motor cleaned at George's Bodyshop in Wivenhoe. The Canadian pop sensation – who has just been awarded the title of intolerable shit by UNESCO – needed to get the Mark 2 Ford Escort cleaned after an evening of drag racing down The Avenue.
Onlookers claimed that the talentless tart was reaching speeds of up to 14mph as he overtook pensioners out in their mobility scooters and it is believed that he might have imbibed one too many cans of fizzy pop and Smarties.
Police are said to be looking into the matter and have told The Watcher that they are "Growing rather tired" of the toddler's antics.
Beaver was, of course, given a formal warning just before Christmas when he was caught pinching sweets from the pick and mix section of Tesco and his parents have been warned if he carries on this behaviour he might not be let back into playgroup after Easter.
The singer, who has enjoyed worldwide chart success with his hits All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth and Grandma We Love You, was unavailable for comment as he was having his morning nap.