Members of Wivenhoe town council were called into an emergency meeting earlier today after the tragic news came to light that Sir Roger Moore has decided that it’s finally time to sell up his Wivenhoe residence and move on to “somewhere else”.
The star of seven James Bond films between 1942 and 1996, Moore exclusively revealed to The Watcher: “I’ve loved my time living here and feel I’ve really become a part of this community. I love the freedom of hanging out with the kids down at the skate park, smoking fags in the car park of the Horse and Groom and being a founding member of Wivenhoe’s Bowls Club, but it’s time to move on.”
Moore refused to comment on allegations that the decision has anything to do with the fact that work has dried up completely for him after he moved here in 1997, riding high on the success of Spiceworld: The Movie, but admits that a number of poor auditions for the Wivenhoe Amateur Dramatic society and his failure to get a part in this year’s panto may have played their part.
Moore will be sadly missed by all of the town, but particularly those living on Heath Road, where he has had a paper round to help tide him over for the last three years.