I’ve been asked to post this ad after this poor simpleton was seen wandering the streets of Wivenhoe with a vacant look in his eye and a simple, moronic smile on his stupid pudgy face.
Please do what you can to help. WWx
This poor, stupid child was found this morning wandering the streets of Wivenhoe. He answers to the name of Boris and claims to have no memory of where he lives or who his mummy and daddy are.
He’s got blonde, scruffy hair, an ill-fitting suit and a posh voice like he’s had two sizeable plums rammed firmly into that rubbish-spilling gob of his.
He claims to be mayor of somewhere called London and seems to bang on endlessly about wanting to ride his bike and play whiff-whaff.
Experts from the RSPCA have advised that strangers do not approach him as he may be dangerous. Dangerously stupid.
If you see him, please contact your local euthanasia officer so that we can all be put out of our misery. Thank you please.