Yesterday the tragic news broke that gorgeous hunk of actor lushness Bradley Spit will be divorcing his wife of two years Angelina Jolie.
Bradders and Angie met and fell in love 11 years ago while working on the Hollywood remake of It Ain’t Half Hot Mum and they’ve been travelling around the world together collecting orphans like Pokémon Go players ever since.
Although it’s been rumoured in recent months that Bradlington had his eyes on her from Emmerdale, you know the one with the teeth, The Watcher can exclusively reveal that he has decided to leave Angelina Ballerina for a lollipop lady based in Wivenhoe.
Brad met the gorgeous lady in question a few months ago while doing research for his next movie Lollipop Man: Don’t Make Him Cross. The pair quickly became close and my spies tell me they’ve been getting pretty touchy feely of late and don’t care who knows about it.
Motorist John Car reported: “It’s cute really. They step out into the traffic to stop the cars, have a little cuddle and then walk back to the pavement for another little cuddle. You can tell they’re proper in love from the way that she gropes his arse”.
Brad and Ange have 11 children (Sleepy, Happy, Dozy, Doc, John, Ringo, Ken, Korean, African, Mick and Titch) and have stated that they will be taking equal responsibility with each adult taking five and half children to live with them. It’s currently unclear which child will be split in half and which half will go to which parent.
Angelina is said to be mildly irritated by the revelations, and it is understood she’s on the lookout for “A Wivenhoe man with his own teeth” to replace Brad.