Wivenhoe mayor Dame Dannii Minogue welcomed the new London mayor to our humble town today so that she could get some insight into the mayoring game. Dame Dannii, who has been in power for 28 years making her the world’s longest standing mayor, was on hand to give Mayor Chaka Khan some much needed tips on absenteeism, not giving a shit and ruling over a selection of people that she neither knows nor cares for.
As the first London Mayor to be elected wearing muslin, Mayor Khan cut an impressively powerful figure and was eager to check out Wivenhoe’s sights including the new psycho path and the fancy dustbins down behind the Bakehouse. Chaka, who’s brother Shia is currently staring in the Jungle Book movie, told the people of Wivenhoe: “I feel for you, I think I love you. Now go away”.