Following a series of unfortunate events involving members of the congregation indulging in too much communion wine, the vicar of St Mary's Church (Geraldine Granger – her from Vicar Of Dibley) has been forced to take drastic measures.
Geraldine explained to The Watcher: “Unfortunately, the people of Wivenhoe seem to like their booze that little bit too much. Communion is supposed to be about a sip of wine and a small disc of bread, but the congregation seems to be taking things too far. Swapping a sip for a bottle of Pinot Noir and the bread for a bag of salt and vinegar crisps is ungodly and something that the baby Jesus frowns upon.”
Consequently, a strict door policy has been adopted with a series of seventies and eighties superstars taking it in turns running the door. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays will see Mr T and Wonder Woman taking charge, while Tuesdays and Thursdays sees Bill Baxby and Lou Ferrigno (the guys who played the Incredible Hulk before and after the got angry in the TV show) checking bags and searching pockets. As always, Sundays will be handled by the Krankies – Wivenhoe’s very own Krays.