The World’s least successful office manager ever, Diddy David Cameraman, stepped down today as head boy of the Democratic Republic of Great Britainshire so that High Priestess Theresa May could take over as supreme leader.
While it’s been widely misreported that gorgeous Dave decided to leave cos he like properly messed up something called Brexit, The Watcher can exclusively reveal that this is pure bumwash and that the truth is that he’s fulfilling a life-time ambition to become the face of Cillit Bang.
Dashing Dave told our spies: “When I heard that Barry Scott has had enough of the CB gig and that the top spot would be up for grabs I decided that it was time to act. This is something I’ve wanted to do ever since I was a young pup. Onwards and upwards eh?”
Meanwhile, the original face of Cillit Bang, Barry Scott, is expected to announce his intention to stand as leader of the Labour Party tomorrow. Scott told reporters: “Jeremy Corbyn claims that he can get rid of all forms of ground-in dirt, but I'm not convinced. I'm Barry Scott and I’m here to put the bang back into Labour. Bang! Bang! Bang!”