In a controversial move, Wivenhoe Mayor Dame Dannii Minogue has decided to name thesinger from popular beat combo Blondie as Wivenhoe cubs new leader. As revealed in the September issue of Look-In magazine, the cub scout movement has been undergoing something of a rebranding exercise as its popularity has dwindled to that of Simon Cowell now that kids are only into Pokemon Go, yo-yos, green Opal Fruits and smack.
But impressively, the move appears to have been an enormous success as the applications to join have more than trebled in the last week alone.
Dame Dannii explained: “This is the first time in my 15 year reign that one of my hair-brain schemes has actually worked, and god damn this one has been a zinger. Obviously, it would be nice if the 'boys' that were coming to join the cubs weren’t all aged 40 to 50, but I guess it’s a start and the hope is that maybe one or two of them will tell their kids or grandsons and maybe they’ll get involved too”.
Dib dib dob and all that...