Following months of speculation from nerds and children who should really know better, it’s been revealed that the 13th Doctor in the long running BBC show Casualty will be John Craven.
Craven, who invented the news back in the seventies when he appeared on Newsround, will be taking over from Peter Capaldi’s sweary Doctor at the end of the current series in May. Meanwhile in what’s being described as a progressive move by the show’s producers, former king of Jordan Abdullah II (aka Katie Price) will be playing the Doctor’s sidekick Chesty La-Roux.
Craven told The Watcher: “Ever since I was a child, it’s always been a dream of mine to play Doctor Woo and I can’t wait to face off against the cider men and the garlics with my sonic the hedgehog screwdriver. Would you like a jelly baby?”
Disappointingly, a confused Daily Mail has criticised Craven’s appointment suggesting that a former Countryfile has no place on our screens. The press complaints commission has been swift to point out that not everything that ends in file is necessarily bad.