The future of the Wivenhoe Forum has been thrown into disarray after yet another seemingly innocuous thread slipped seamlessly into raging fury before bursting into a bare-knuckle fight behind the bins and – inevitably – a duel to the death.
It all started yesterday when someone with the handle WivWoman innocently added a post suggesting that the snow was quite nice. Within a matter of minutes, vitriol was flying around like desperate calls for booze in The Station pub at last orders on a Friday night.
“Classic example of snowflake liberalism #Blair’sBrokenBritain” sneered Gobshipe54, before SteveO waded in with: “It would make a nice change to see you on the side of community action for once, rather than snidely sniping from the sidelines”, closely followed by “What about the railway horn and the potholes” and “You can shove the horn up your pothole, you shit”.
As is so often the case, the debate collapsed into a spate of vitriol with both sides hurling abuse at one another like chimpanzees throwing shit at a tea party until the thread collapsed under its own self importance as the inevitable subject of Wivenhoe’s Neighbourhood plan and Brexit caused it to implode.
Wivenhoe Mayor Dame Dannii Minogue has warned the children of Wivenhoe that if they can’t learn to get along like big boys and girls they will have their computers taken away from them and that forums, chocolate biscuits and telly time will be removed until they learn to show some respect for one another.