As football fever starts to grip the nation, Ed Minihands and his good friend David Cameraman get together for a kick around in the park. The pair, who are universally hated across the country for the way they take money from the state without doing a single day’s work, had been campaigning with an eye on the upcoming election to replace much-loved local councillor Steve Ford.
An onlooker told The Watcher: “One minute they were sitting on the grass eating prawn sandwiches, the next Cameraman was running around shouting “I wanna be Brazil, I wanna be Brazil!’ like an excitable kid. Minihands let him have the ball for a couple of minutes and then just tried to kick his face off. Right off.”
The leader of the Laboured Party later told The Watcher: “I like to think that by kicking the prime minister in his stupid smug face I might be able to knock some sense into him. Unfortunately my leg got tired after 20 minutes and I had to call it a day.”
Cameraman, meanwhile, added: “It’s been a game of two halves. The boys have given everything, but in the end we just came up short. But we’ll go back to the training ground, regroup and come back stronger than ever.”