New research has come to light this morning to suggest that playing computer games is actually more beneficial for children’s fitness than getting your five-a-day of fruit and veg. Carried out by leading academics at Essex University, the study has revealed that sitting for hours on end in front of a TV screen wearing headphones while shouting at the top of your voice is actually healthier than going for a brisk walk, half hour cycle ride or a five-mile run.
Speaking this morning to BBC Look East, Professor Hans Zarkov (formerly of NASA) explained: “For too long people have believed that playing Xbox or PlayStation isn’t good for our kids, but I can categorically state that this is nonsense. Screaming ‘Shoot his face off Darren!!’ repeatedly while in the middle of a four-hour Fortnite session is better for the body than regular exercise, eating your five-a-day or even going to school. If anything, parents need to be making more time for their kids to play for longer – maybe going to bed later, getting up earlier or taking three or four days off school a week to try and squeeze in extra sessions – every little helps.”
Spokesperson for Wivenhoe’s Fortnite society, Ian Tool (aged 12) explained: “The reason that we funded this research was to highlight the miscarriages of justice taking place in living rooms across the UK on a daily basis. No child should ever have to beg for ‘Just five minutes more mum!! I just need to finish this bit..’ and hopefully this new research will help right this social injustice.”