The Watcher can exclusively reveal that filming began last week of Season 5 of that thing off the telly that’s like The Lord of the Rings but with more violence, sex and swearing in it. And what’s more, the action will be centred in and around the Scout and Guides hall in Wivenhoe.
The fifth season, which is based on author George RRRRRR Martin’s fourth and fifth books in the Game of Thrones saga (Pete’s Dragon and The Further Adventures of Crow from the Ki-ora adverts), continues the story of the princes and princesses with made up names that rule over made up places and their continued battle for made up power in a made up universe, or something that’s been made up by a fat man with a beard that probably smells and almost certainly doesn’t have a girlfriend.
George RRRRRR Martin told The Watcher: “I chose the Scout and Guide Hall cos of its close proximity to the woods, where I believe you still have a number of dragons living in the wild. Oh and I’m usually down here on a Thursday evening for Dungeons and Dragons club.”
The Watcher can reveal that along with the usual returning favourites, new characters include Richard Hammond as Pertween the tiny, Simon Groom as Thsxqtrys the bold, Maggie Philbin as Lady Wipe and Noel Edmonds as the Guffalo.
The show is expected to air on Sky 1 from mid-April and is probably best recorded so that you can fast forward through the talky stuff and get to the fighting and fellatio.