Ever since Grand Inquisitor May announced the June 8 General Erection to decide who would be driving the Great Britainshire bus to Brexitdom, the nation has cried out for a televised debate but to no avail.
Theresa May has repeatedly poured scorn upon the event, suggesting that the prospect of her mass debating Jeremy Corbyn live on TV would hold little interest for viewers – especially those that are trying to eat their tea.
Sweet Jeremy, meanwhile has manfully suggested he’s up to the task, telling Playboy magazine: “I’m not afraid of mass debating Theresa May. Whether it’s on the telly or down the back of an alley by the docks. I’ll take her and all her posh tory mates. I’ve got good working class hands and a firm but fair grip… on what the public wants”.
While it appears that the lady is not for turning… up to a televised mass debate with Commie Corbyn, Little Timmy Farron, the Green Goddess and that fucknut from the Ukips, she’s well up for hitting Chairman Corbers with an oversized earbud in the first televised episode of Prime Minister Gladiators.
Taking place this weekend at the NEC in Brumingham – somewhere in the middlelands of the United Queendom – the event is expected to be decisive in the outcome of our doom-filled future.
And the trash talk has started early with May slating her opponent in an unforgiving fashion, telling Boxing Monthly Magazine: “I’ll smash the living shit out of that glass-jawed beardy weirdy. Forget about 45p income tax, I’m gonna hurt him so bad that he’ll wish there was still an NHS to fix him up”.
Meanwhile Corbyn is taking a more measured approach, calmly noting: “I’ve wrestled with alligators, I tussled with a whale, I done handcuffed lightning and threw thunder in jail – but there was that time at the TUC conference when I got stung by a bee and battered in a local election by a butterfly. I’ll be honest with you, I’m bricking it…”
Prime Minister Gladiators is exclusive to Sky Box Office for £15.99 and the pre-fight show starts at 9:30pm.