A number of Wivenhoe residents have claimed to have spotted the ghost of seventies TV sensation Larry Grayson frequenting the window display of Wivenhoe’s premier undertakers Kemble Funeral Home.
Suspicions were raised in early February when a deep, manly voice could be heard moaning “Shut that door!” and “What a gay day” late at night in the general vicinity of the funeral parlour throughout the night and on one occasion in March a pair of glasses on a chain were seen levitating down the street.
Ghostbuster Doctor Peter Venkman was eventually called in and told The Watcher: “We’ve carried out a series of extensive tests and had no scientific evidence to suggest that Mr Grayson’s ghost was frequenting this particular building, but then on our last night we heard a voice moaning: ‘Seems like a nice boy’ before an apparition of a mountain of a man appeared before us. Because I’m a fictional character from an American film, I have no idea who this Larry Grayson is, but bystanders clearly identified him.”
Grayson famously grey up in Clacton and never actually lived in Wivenhoe, but used to be a regular in The Greyhound pub and it’s believed by locals that he likes to come back and hang around the gents toilets before last orders, asking drinkers to close the door.