In an emergency meeting this morning, Wivenhoe Mayor Dame Dannii Minogue admitted that trying to save money by employing a new firm of lumberjacks was a mistake.
Instead of employing the usual firm ‘Got Wood’, Minogue decided to go with Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball clearance company in an effort to make a saving and though cutbacks were succesful, the environmental cost could be catastrophic.
David Bellamy, Chris Packham and Dr. Seuss' The Lorax were left shaking their heads in dismay looking at the carnage caused by the team of blonde-haired wreckers toiling away in their vest and pants, licking sledgehammers.
An onlooker told The Watcher: “They came in like a wrecking ball, they never hit so hard in love. All they wanted was to break your walls. All they did was wr-e-e-eck trees”.
Fortunately, there are plans for a new multi-storey carpark to be built over the carnage, so all’s well that ends well.