Parents are being warned to be on the lookout for the latest drug sensation sweeping playgrounds, sweet shops and discotheques across Essex. Evil dealers have been fooling children into getting hooked on the drug by coating it in a crisp shell that tastes a bit like chocolate and then dipping the extreme form of crystal meth in a peanut essence to disguise its pure evil nature.
We spoke exclusively to Doctor Peter Science (neither an expert nor a real doctor) who told us: “We’ve all heard of Es and the way that they can lead to blindness, gangrene and ingrowing toenails, right? Well this junk is, like, loads worse, cos it’s like eight letters further along the alphabet. Just looking at a picture of Ms can make your eyes sweat liquid blood.”
Going undercover, The Watcher exclusively managed to procure these samples from a local pusherman – paying £25 per tablet – and having taken one or two (entirely for scientific purposes, you understand) can confirm that they should be avoided at all costs.
Parents and teachers have been warned to keep an eye open for the tell-tale signs of addiction in children, which include talking to one another, using phones, walking, running, cooing like a dove, eating crisps or pretending not to be able to find stuff that they’ve been told is definitely in their room.
Street names to listen out for include: Grandma’s nuts, blurt, castanets, wimple drops, scab, Lego balls, lady scrapes and tick tocks.