International brain box and pop star-young-enough-to-be-his-daughter-dater Elong Mush has unveiled a new audacious space tourism plan so that visitors to Wivenhoe’s Cross Post Office store can experience first hand the complete mundanity of space travel.
Musp has garnered international acclaim from the scientriffic community, thanks to his cars that are powered purely by bullshit and his spaceships cunningly manufactured from a complex process involving toilet rolls, sticky-backed plastic and a really, really, really long extension lead.
Speaking to the gathered press outside of Wivenhoe Post Office, Must proclaimed: “For everyone, the dream must be to experience the thrill of space travel – and now thanks to my SpaceX VR pods the people of Wivenhoe will get to live that fantasy out.”
The SpaceX pod thrill ride costs £100,000 for a 30-second ‘experience’ and gently rocks backwards and forwards for 20 seconds accompanied by the theme tune to Grange Hill before thrusting the ‘pilot’ into a tailspin that reaches as much as 5G that induces uncontrollable vomiting, violent diarrhoea and extreme brain bleed. The ride opens to the public last Thursday and there’s a waiting list of 15 years for suckers desperate enough to be parted with money that they probably don’t really deserve to have anyway.