It’s been a long wait, but Wivenhoe surgery has finally unveiled its new GP to an expectant audience of hypochondriacs, old folk and kids hoping to get their first few days off of school. The 12th doctor to take the hot seat in the surgery – Doctor Wu – has big boots to fill.
Local piles sufferer Sue Povtheday told The Watcher: “The last doctor was really great. He had big hair, a funny looking nose and he was really young – the youngest we’ve ever had. He was much nicer than that Scottish bloke before him and he had that nice Nurse Pond who had a gentle touch – even though she was a bit ginger.”
Doctor Wu is understood to have previously worked in some capacity behind the scenes for the government and is rumored to be calm, considerate and not at all sweary. It’s hoped that he will be a hit with sufferers of illness both young and old.
Hearing of the new exciting announcement, Wivenhoe Mayor Dame Dannii Minogue told The Watcher: “Everyone remembers their favourite doctor. For me it was the one that softened the blow of having mumps by wearing a scarf, giving me a jelly baby and a firm pat on the bottom. I hope that Doctor Wu will be able to build a similar sort of relationship with the sick people of Wivenhoe, keeping alien diseases at bay in a wry and entertaining way.”
The previous 11 doctors to have run the surgery include Doctor Seuss, Doctor Quinn: Medicine Woman, Doctor Foster, Dr Fu-Manchu, Dr Hannibal Lecter, Dr Evil, Doctor Strangelove, Dr Spock, Dr Egon Spengler, Dr Kildare and Dr Henry 'Indiana' Jones.
It was widely expected that Doctor Legg from Eastenders would take over the auspicious role, but Wivenhoe betting shop refused to take any more bets after it became apparent that he was a poorly imagined fictional figure from a programme that stopped being good once Lofty left.