Following his latest example of mouth-blurt shitery, Wivenhoe’s post boxes have come together to issue a joint a statement to supreme master fuck knuckle Boris Johnson.
Speaking this morning on This Morning, Broome Grove’s letter box number 47 stated: “If that floppy haired, fat faced, bus-bullshitting, plum-mouthed shit waffler thinks that it’s ok to drag us into his xenophobic sweaty-palmed desperate grasp for power he can think again. He should stick to banging on about wiff waff, knocking over children in games of rugby or getting stuck dangling in the air like the prick he is and leave us out of his hate speech. Comparing our community to how others choose to dress is retrograde and just plain fucking stupid and even though he has the mind of a four-year old fuck wit, he should know better.”
Wivenhoe Mayor, Dame Dannii Minogue was quick to jump to the defence of her town’s post boxes, noting: “Considering he looks like a Pillsbury doughboy with the sort of unkempt Worzel Gummidge pubic hair on his head that even Donald Trump’s follicle advisor would reject and the bloated pudgy body that’s normally found on a washed up corpse on a beach, it’s interesting that Johnson has the temerity to criticise anyone for how they chose to present themselves.”
Unfortunately, Bojo was unavailable for comment as he had his stupid fat fuck head rammed firmly up his equally stupid posh arsehole…