Finally some good news to come from North Essex’s least improved town: the World Potholing Association has named Wivenhoe as it’s number one holiday destination for those that enjoy the thrill of clambering through holes and into caves and that.
The Chairman of the association Sir Michael Gollem told viewers of Pebble Mill At One: “I’ve been to Wookey’s Hole in Dorset, Pokey Gap in Mexico and Creeky Crevice in Potugal, but none of these compare to the thrill ride that’s offered by the roads in Wivenhoe. Honestly, some of those pot holes are beyond even my crazy skills!”
Wivenhoe Mayor Dame Dannii Minogue has faced numerous allegations of failure to deal with the state of the town’s roads – paying out for costly resurfacing work back in July – and despite help from the people of Africa remains adamant that there is nothing wrong with Wivenhoe’s world famous craggy tracks, noting: “People keep complaining to me about the state of our roads, but perhaps they need to stop being so damn selfish and start thinking about the environment. If more people flew in their own private helicopter, they’d be able to ditch their car like I have. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one that makes any sacrifices around here.”