Now that the weather is finally starting to warm up, wildlife enthusiasts from around the UK have been flocking to Wivenhoe woods to see the lesser-spotted Robin Hoods as they awaken from a long winter snooze.
Small, hairless mammals, the Robin Hoods are unique to the woods, because – according to Darwinist Richard Dawkins – of the unique mixture of old crisp packets, acorns and mead that have existed in the surrounding environment over the centuries.
Like every year, the creatures emerge from their boroughs after a lengthy sleep in early June, before searching for food and building themselves a mating den in the trees. Using their ‘bows and arrows’ – an evolutionary quirk believed to be similar to a stingray’s sting – the mammals then embark on the important process of breeding. Uniquely, Robin Hoods don’t mate with creatures from their own species, instead doing the wild thing with Maid Marions – a small rodent that’s closely related to the squirrel.
While in the woods this morning, The Watcher was fortunate enough to catch up with David Attenborough who explained: “Having successfully mated, they carry out the annual act of stealing acorns from the rich and distributing them to the poor before once again settling down to sleep for the winter. I urge people to come down here and experience this unique phenomenon for themselves.”