Human beatboxer Rolf Harris is currently the subject of a Wivenhoe manhunt after a callous act of vandalism to the outside of The Flag pub in Wivenhoe.
Rolf carried out the act in the early hours of Sunday night in an effort to try and regain some street cred from the likes of urban street artists like Banksy and is understood to be devastated that Wivenhoe’s finest are not impressed by his amateur daubings.
Harris exclusively told The Watcher: “I thought the people of Wivenhoe would appreciate a lovely picture of the people’s princess on the wall of one of Wivenhoe’s most hospitable drinking dens. I don’t understand what all the fuss is about.” Before breaking into heavy breathing and flapping a piece of cardboard around like a loon.
In her regular Monday morning press briefing, Wivenhoe Town Mayor, Dame Dannii Minogue told journalists: “Rolf and I grew up in the same part of Ramsey Street and to this day his version of Stairway To Heaven is way better than Led Zeppelin’s, but I cannot abide vandalism. I have instructed the police force to hunt him down like a dingo.”
The manhunt continues…