Portuguese rugby sensation Christiano Ronaldo has gone on a one-man mission to draw the attention of the world to the plight of the people in Gaza by standing around in his pants in the cut-through between Spring Chase and Broome Grove.
Hunky Christine has vowed to pose in a series of evocative stances until Israel curbs its aggressive stance and has stated that he won’t be returning to play basketball for Real Madrid until Benjamin Netanyahu takes him seriously.
The Portuguese panty poser has been pouting in the alley since late on Monday night and has caused mass hysteria among the underage smokers, glue sniffers and doggers that frequent the path.
Ronaldo, who wants to be David Beckham when he grows up, told The Watcher: “It’s disgusting what is going on over there in Africa. Mr Netanyahu needs to get his house in order and stop this senseless violence. I’m really not sure I can survive another night alone in my pants here, it’s terrifying.”
Protest fans will be all too aware of Christiano’s positive action in the Wivenhoe area after he spent the whole of May walking around the village with just a sock on his genitals to fight the County Council’s plans to rid Wivenhoe of its lollipop lady and he lounged by a pool in Miami surrounded by supermodels to draw attention to the ludicrous plans to make Wivenhoe parents pay an annual £45 million bus fair to the Colne school in Brightlingsea.
It’s widely expected that Wivenhoe Mayor Dame Dannii Minogue will reward him for his action by granting him the keys to the dog poo bins of the town.