There was much cause for excitement yesterday as a new ferry service running from Wivenhoe to Fingrinhoe was unveiled by Wivenhoe mayor Dame Dannii Minogue.
The service has been set up by out of work actor Johnny Depp as a direct rival to the current ferry and, though costing more than the existing service, is expected to be popular with residents of both hoes (that's Fingirin and Wiven, folks).
The Watcher spoke to the new ferry's skipper Captain Jack Sparrow, who commented: "Yaaar, there be gold in them there waters".
The ferry will be crossing the channel every hour and costs £3,400 for a single journey or £9,765 for a return. Those that really want to get into the spirit of the adventure can pay out an additional £45 to be tied up and made to walk the plank. Profits are expected to be put towards another ill-advised Pirates of the Caribbean movie.