Weary residents of Wivenhoe awoke bleary eyed this morning following a sleepless night as they were kept awake by the chaos unfolding in the night sky above them as the Super moon waged war with the Bat moon to see which would rule and be the mooniest of them all.
As happens at this time every year, a Super moon fills the night sky as the planet earth comes into orbit with the mysterious made-up planet of Krypton, giving the illusion of the moon being all special or sumfing as opposed to made of cheese.
Meanwhile, every five years a millionaire vigilante moon comes out of hiding and the two engage in a fierce battle for dominance of the night sky. Last night was regarded as something of a stalemate with the Bat moon using tiny shards of Kryptonite to keep the Super moon at bay, while the Super moon used its laser eyes to fight back.
Astrologists predict that the excitement will be over in the next couple of days when we will once again return to having a plain old Button moon.