Whether you voted for a flacidly insipid and unassuming Brexit or a firm, hard meaty thrusting one, the good news is that you’re sure to finally be granted satisfaction tonight. Yep that’s right folks, some of the greatest minds (and hottest bodies) will be thrashing it out in a hot and sweaty studio, man-on-man, on BBC One to find out who is king of the castle. Firm favourite Boris Johnson will be mass debating professional cokehead Michael Gove as hard as he possibly can. Meanwhile, the unctuous little Gollem-a-like will in turn be mass debating walking rhyming slangman Jeremy Hunt for all he’s worth, while in the background Sajid Javid, Rory Stewart and Dominic Raab C Nesbit will be furiously mass debating over the scraps until completion.
Host Emily Maitliss has exclusively told The Watcher: “These guys all went to public school, so mass debating one another really shouldn’t be anything new to them. Having said that, it’s quite a different ball game when you’re mass debating on TV to a live audience and it’ll be fascinating to see their different approaches. Boris tends to be fast and lose, while Gove is more of a slippery character. Hunt likes to go straight down the line, while this will be the first time that a lot of people have seen Stewart, Javid and C Nesbit thrash it out in a public forum. It’ll be intriguing to discover who will mass debate hardest and who will be left with egg on his face.”