For some reason that I’ve yet to fully understand, the great British public has taken exception to former reality TV star Donald Trump’s kind offer to come over to Great Britainshire to meet Queen.
They’re a miserable bunch the British public and when they decide they don’t like you, they can be venomous in their spite. Whether it’s a curt sniff, a fierce sideways glance or – most hurtful of all – a sharp clearing of the throat and quick disparaging glance in your direction, they are a force to reckoned with when it comes to putting World leaders firmly in their place.
And now the new Lord Chancellor of the Formerly Democratic Republic of Merica seems to have really got on the wrong side of Brother Brit as the public unleashes the worst riposte known to man – the petition.
It is understood that as many as 148 people across the Commonwealth have signed a piece of paper politely requesting that Lord Chancellor Trump reconsiders coming for tea with Queen until he gets a sensible hair cut, treats himself to a suit that fits him properly and stops wearing orange skin makeup like he’s a girl from that marvellous TOWIE documentary.
It is understood that Trump – a keen wildlife lover – is eager to swap notes with Brian May about their mutual love of the badger and he hopes to get in a couple of rounds of crazy golf with the band before heading off to Clacton for an authentic British chips and Benson & Hedges experience on the pier.
BBC Look East this morning revealed that if the petition receives more than 300 signatures, Lord Chancellor Trump will be denied his meeting with badger baiter May, Roger Taylor and the good looking one off the X Factor (I think he’s called Alan or something) and that British Prime minister Theresa May will instead send a delegation consisting of Limahl from Kajagoogoo, the remaining members of Musical Youth and Bill Oddie to the Formerly Democratic Republic to meet the great orange hairy Wotsit.