The ‘We’re Just Like You Tour’ has been set up to show British plebs everywhere that the Windsors function just like every other normal family in the UK and are, well, just like us.
As Will One Is (as he now wishes to be known) explained to The Watcher: “People assume that just because we receive millions of you commoner’s pounds, we’re somehow different to you, but we’re not. Like you, we like to escape to our country castle at the weekend and we like to spend most days shooting animals and fiddling with our servants. We’re not so different you and I.”
Big Willy Style (as he used to be known) appeared on Bath Street with his lovely family in a common English bath and just four maids in waiting – highlighting how the Windsors are having to tighten their belts as much as the next man in these trying times. With bubble bath produced from dolphin’s tears and a loofah made of finest ermine, the family proudly washed one another down before getting back into their golden carriage and heading on to Clacton On Sea where they will be playing the fruit machines on the pier before slumming it in Roman Abramovich’s yacht.